Fielding Life’s Curveballs: How Playing Sports Shapes My Parenting

Mar 18

I was the only girl who played Little League baseball in my hometown. When I was 8 years old, I followed in my big brother's footsteps and tried out for a team. The boys on my team were a little surprised by my presence, but I showed up, worked hard and kicked ass on the field. Once my teammates realized that I was a good player with a deep love for the game, they were cool. I quickly learned that I could trust my team. Boys on opposing teams - and worst of all, their parents (!) - weren't as welcoming. They teased me, commented on my appearance, asked why I didn't switch to softball like a "normal girl".

My dad, a kind and compassionate social worker by day, was my coach. Back then, I thought he coached my teams simply to spend time with me and because we both loved the game. Now, I realize that he had a bigger purpose - he wanted to impart his worldview and instill his values in me. During one game, a line drive smashed into my face, and my eyes filled with tears. My dad walked me away from the diamond, held my hand, and created space for me to cry. After he comforted me, he told me to shake it off, keep playing and show everyone - kids and parents included - how tough I was. ***Play with heart. Never Quit.***

At the age of 55, I still play softball in a weekly league and on a competitive travel team. Last summer, I competed in the ASANA women's softball "World Series". I've shared how being a girl jock saved my soul and that rejoining a team helped pull me out of a depression. When the pandemic abruptly shut down my team sports, I felt unmoored, disconnected. A parenting coach gave me a homework assignment: Find a way to start playing sports again - even if it meant playing in a mask, even if my breath fogged up my glasses and I couldn't breathe easily. The moment I stepped back onto the field, I began to reclaim my power and rekindle my joy.

The lessons I learned playing sports still guide me. After decades as an athlete, I live by the mantra ‘never quit,’ but as a mother, I’ve had to learn when perseverance is strength and when stepping away is the healthier choice. I've had to figure out when to advise my kids to "shake it off" and push through or when to trust their instincts and let them walk away from an activity that no longer nourishes them.

As a mama, I felt the sting of rejection during my kids' adolescence - the pain radiating through my soul like a line drive to the face. But sports taught me how to stay in the game, to fight for connection even when it hurts.

Motherhood, like the game, is about playing with all your heart, getting back up after the hard hits and showing up for your team - your family - no matter what.